Struggles of a 22 yr old.

Waking up in the morning, your college life has left you craving for more sleep time and disciplining your mind to be awake at a certain acceptable time is a fight. The amount of convincing to put down the phone at night or pause the 800th episode of some series, it’s not easy being at war with yourself. Basically, not being able to withdraw from a certain lifestyle choice, sleeping late, waking up late, the cycle goes on unless you have a morning show, the trip planned, banter from the elders or hunger.

Job. Working for someone, looking for one or making a switch. More than half the time you’re confused whether what you’re doing is your calling or not, how you cannot stand taking orders, unreasonable one’s, obviously. Doubting your degree once every month, whatever you achieved not being good enough, difficulty describing your work because you’re confused in your own head, craving for a break, if you get that break, wanting to be independent again. And for those starting out, not knowing where to begin.

Studying. Masters in ‘XYZ’ is your goal now, having a definite routine, the indefinite number of interactions, homework to hate, a new place to explore, and independence. No, that’s not a struggle at all, figuring out what you want that ‘XYZ’ to be is, if you already know then struggling for the best institute for it, if you already have that, ensuring you make the best of it for yourself because after coming this far, you owe yourself success.

People, when I say people I’m referring to the society comprising of family, friends, teachers and ‘n’ number of people your parents know. The undying spirit to spread wisdom, point questions and push you towards the set standard goals, facing them & not changing yourself is a struggle. Now, not all of them are waiting for you to be vulnerable, the one’s out of the hundreds who understand you, their expectations in silence, sometimes out-loud as well. Having the strength to keep yourself together and not introspecting at every social gathering, takes a load on mental and expressionless conveying that you’ll do fine by yourself.

You. There’s a constant battle inside you, to start running and be fit or sleep a tad bit more, to eat crap which tastes amazing or healthy food which tastes crap, to shut every judgmental statement coming your way or practice patience and art of letting go, to stay at home with your parents or move away to explore, to take a shitty job with money or a meaningful job which pays your soul to be happy, to go to Goa in rains or not, to speak of your problems or not, to give into the messed up sleep cycle or not, to write that exam sooner or not, to take a shower on Sunday or not, to move forward and not be still, to be or not to be.

You’re not alone. I hope you be every inch of yourself and make the choices meant right for you. Keep hustling.

– DD

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